I am now 20 weeks and 4 days pregnant. We had the anatomy ultrasound on September 1st. I was VERY nervous going into it since I still wasn't feeling baby move yet. As soon as she but the probe on my belly we saw her move her arms so that was reassured me right away. Baby seems to be doing very well though she was a little shy :P At first she would not open her legs to give us a look at the gender so the tech sent me to empty my bladder. Well she did move and open her legs but kept her hand in the way so we still couldn't see! The tech then had me lay on my side for about 10 minutes and finally she eventually gave us the money shot. There is absolutely no doubt that it's a girl! Also found out that the reason I am not feeling her move much yet is that I have an anterior placenta (placenta is in the front) which is cushioning the movements.
It's now nearly 2 weeks later and I *think* I am feeling her move more and more. Definately not enough to feel from the outside but too often for it to be just gas. I am very much looking forward to knowing for sure it's her I am feeling moving!
We made our first big purchase this weekend which felt really weird. We bought our stroller. Hubby is the one who made the decision to get that particular stroller yet as we walked out the store his first comment was "holy crap, this is actually happening!" Now to start looking for carseats, cribs, and all the other fun stuff! It's so surreal to be able to actually buy this stuff and that that "someday hopefully" is finally here!
I am definately super happy we found out the gender, it's what's finally made this feel a little more real. I still have my doubting moments where I get scared but at least I am having more moments were I am just really enjoying going through the pregnancy. I can't believe I am halfway!!! Only 3 and a half more weeks and she'll have reached viability!
Monday, September 12, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
15 weeks
Well I finally made it to the 2nd trimester and we still had a heartbeat on Tuesday! I got super stressed when the doctor couldn't find it at first and started talking about sending me for an ultrasound. Thank goodness she was eventually able to find it and it was at a nice 160 :)
I am still having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that this should be it. We should have a baby in about 5.5 months. It definately still feels weird and I feel like it's only a dream and reality will swoop in at any point. I am able to window shop, talk to people about plans but when it comes to making any of those concrete it kind of freaks me out. People have started asking if we've started picking things up for the baby so I've been giving them the excuse we are waiting to find out the gender first. At least that buys me a little time.
A friend of mine is a doula and texted me a few days ago that she had one spot open in January and did I want it. Making that commitment has been one of the hardest things so far and had I not known the doula personally or the other VERY generous friend who will be covering the bill for us as a gift I don't think I could have done it. I am however thankful to them for making me take that first step. Still freaking out a little on the inside though and wondering if I've jinxed myself now.
All that being said, I do feel incredibly blessed and thankful to be in the situation I am in today and though I am still fucked up emotionally, I wouldn't trade it for the world (well other than being able to get my other baby back too)
I am still having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that this should be it. We should have a baby in about 5.5 months. It definately still feels weird and I feel like it's only a dream and reality will swoop in at any point. I am able to window shop, talk to people about plans but when it comes to making any of those concrete it kind of freaks me out. People have started asking if we've started picking things up for the baby so I've been giving them the excuse we are waiting to find out the gender first. At least that buys me a little time.
A friend of mine is a doula and texted me a few days ago that she had one spot open in January and did I want it. Making that commitment has been one of the hardest things so far and had I not known the doula personally or the other VERY generous friend who will be covering the bill for us as a gift I don't think I could have done it. I am however thankful to them for making me take that first step. Still freaking out a little on the inside though and wondering if I've jinxed myself now.
All that being said, I do feel incredibly blessed and thankful to be in the situation I am in today and though I am still fucked up emotionally, I wouldn't trade it for the world (well other than being able to get my other baby back too)
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
So lost
Today was a very difficult day. We found out that one of our precious twins did not make it. Seems he/she passed away shortly after our last ultrasound.
Looking back I knew something was wrong since Thursday. I started to experience some bleeding and very mild cramping. The bleeding stayed brown and very light so I tried to convince myself it was nothing. I was seeing my OB the following week so no point in doing anything right? Even if I had gotten checked right away it would not have changed the outcome but I knew deep down something was wrong but I brushed it off as being paranoid. Brown bleeding is nothing to worry about right? It stopped by Sunday so I hoped everything was ok.
This morning we had our first OB appointment. I went in with excitement but was pretty stressed and hoping we'd get some reassurance. It's routine to go for an u/s before appointments when you're high risk so that's what we did.
I knew right away when I got to get a good look at the screen that something was wrong. One baby was wriggly and kicking all over the place, the other was much smaller (looked the same as last time really) and not moving. There was no flicker. The tech wasn't supposed to tell us anything but I point blank asked her to confirm that there was no heartbeat and she confirmed my fear.
We were then led directly to an office where we got to meat the OB for the first time and he confirmed for sure that one twin was gone. Thankfully the other baby is doing great, measuring right on track, at 11 weeks strong heartbeat of 171. He confirmed to us that physically, losing one twin has little impact on the second twin, if anything it gives this little guy a better chance since a singleton pregnancy is way less risky than a twin. Emotionally however it's a different story. We are going back in 2 weeks for IPS testing and another u/s. If everything looks good we might see him once more a month later but oherwise we go back to my GP as a normal low risk singleton pregnancy.
I am having a hard time dealing with all of this. I know I should be thankful for the one remaining but it's hard to be right now. I am just missing the one that is gone. It's sort of like telling someone who has an older child who has a miscarriage that at least they have that child. It doesn't make that loss hurt less.
With a normal miscarriage you get the physical side of things that helps make things more real and concrete so you can deal and move on. I don't have that. Instead I am carrying my dead baby inside me. It may get reabsorbed or it may just stay there for the remainder of the pregnancy. I found it hard seeing the other baby kicking and moving around and hitting its twin. I just want that baby to be left alone! I also can't let myself spiral down because I have this other little baby that has to be taken care of. I need to make sure I eat and rest so that this baby can keep growing and thrive. That's so hard to do but thankfully I have a great husband who is forcing me to eat.
So right now I am lost and don't know where to turn, but I know over time it will get better. I still have another little one to take care of. The next 2 weeks are going to be stressful while we wait for our next u/s but I know we'll get through this.
Rest in peace my little baby angel and say hi to your 2 siblings for me. You will always hold a special place in my heart and we will tell your brother/sister about you and show them your picture.
Looking back I knew something was wrong since Thursday. I started to experience some bleeding and very mild cramping. The bleeding stayed brown and very light so I tried to convince myself it was nothing. I was seeing my OB the following week so no point in doing anything right? Even if I had gotten checked right away it would not have changed the outcome but I knew deep down something was wrong but I brushed it off as being paranoid. Brown bleeding is nothing to worry about right? It stopped by Sunday so I hoped everything was ok.
This morning we had our first OB appointment. I went in with excitement but was pretty stressed and hoping we'd get some reassurance. It's routine to go for an u/s before appointments when you're high risk so that's what we did.
I knew right away when I got to get a good look at the screen that something was wrong. One baby was wriggly and kicking all over the place, the other was much smaller (looked the same as last time really) and not moving. There was no flicker. The tech wasn't supposed to tell us anything but I point blank asked her to confirm that there was no heartbeat and she confirmed my fear.
We were then led directly to an office where we got to meat the OB for the first time and he confirmed for sure that one twin was gone. Thankfully the other baby is doing great, measuring right on track, at 11 weeks strong heartbeat of 171. He confirmed to us that physically, losing one twin has little impact on the second twin, if anything it gives this little guy a better chance since a singleton pregnancy is way less risky than a twin. Emotionally however it's a different story. We are going back in 2 weeks for IPS testing and another u/s. If everything looks good we might see him once more a month later but oherwise we go back to my GP as a normal low risk singleton pregnancy.
I am having a hard time dealing with all of this. I know I should be thankful for the one remaining but it's hard to be right now. I am just missing the one that is gone. It's sort of like telling someone who has an older child who has a miscarriage that at least they have that child. It doesn't make that loss hurt less.
With a normal miscarriage you get the physical side of things that helps make things more real and concrete so you can deal and move on. I don't have that. Instead I am carrying my dead baby inside me. It may get reabsorbed or it may just stay there for the remainder of the pregnancy. I found it hard seeing the other baby kicking and moving around and hitting its twin. I just want that baby to be left alone! I also can't let myself spiral down because I have this other little baby that has to be taken care of. I need to make sure I eat and rest so that this baby can keep growing and thrive. That's so hard to do but thankfully I have a great husband who is forcing me to eat.
So right now I am lost and don't know where to turn, but I know over time it will get better. I still have another little one to take care of. The next 2 weeks are going to be stressful while we wait for our next u/s but I know we'll get through this.
Rest in peace my little baby angel and say hi to your 2 siblings for me. You will always hold a special place in my heart and we will tell your brother/sister about you and show them your picture.
Friday, June 24, 2011
9 weeks 1 day
I've been bad about blogging lately. I've been debating whether I should continue now that I'm pregnant and following the lead of another pregnant infertile I've been following, I decided to continue. It'll be a nice way of documenting my pregnancy.
First things first, last week we had another ultrasound. To our great surprise, there was another baby in there! It's twins! At 8 weeks 0 days, Baby A was measuring 8weeks 2 days and Baby B (who is apparantly less photogenic than Baby A) was measuring 8 weeks 3 days. Both had strong heartbeats of 176!
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Overall I've been feeling good, I'm just sooo excited to finally be pregnant and to have 2 little ones on the way is so exciting and so scary all at the same time!
Morning sickness has been bad but it's now pretty controlled with the help of diclectin. I found out the hard way this week that missing one dose is not a good thing. I kept absolutely nothing down the next day!
My belly is also already starting to grow. I definately need to get my but in gear and start taking pictures! I have very few items of clothing that still fit me, so I'll be going mat clothes shopping this weekend. I can't wait. It is the coolest thing to feel my belly starting to get hard. I'm definately at the is she gaining weight or is she pregnant stage. However if I keep growing at this rate it won't take long to look pregnant!
First OB appointment is in 12 days, can't wait!
First things first, last week we had another ultrasound. To our great surprise, there was another baby in there! It's twins! At 8 weeks 0 days, Baby A was measuring 8weeks 2 days and Baby B (who is apparantly less photogenic than Baby A) was measuring 8 weeks 3 days. Both had strong heartbeats of 176!
Overall I've been feeling good, I'm just sooo excited to finally be pregnant and to have 2 little ones on the way is so exciting and so scary all at the same time!
Morning sickness has been bad but it's now pretty controlled with the help of diclectin. I found out the hard way this week that missing one dose is not a good thing. I kept absolutely nothing down the next day!
My belly is also already starting to grow. I definately need to get my but in gear and start taking pictures! I have very few items of clothing that still fit me, so I'll be going mat clothes shopping this weekend. I can't wait. It is the coolest thing to feel my belly starting to get hard. I'm definately at the is she gaining weight or is she pregnant stage. However if I keep growing at this rate it won't take long to look pregnant!
First OB appointment is in 12 days, can't wait!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Ultra sound results are in
Well we had our ultra sound this morning and we have one little bean growing! At this point it is much too early to see much, even the sac itself is still super tiny, nevermind seeing if there's anything growing in it.
So as it stands now we have an early gestational sac growing in the uterus and measuring right on target for my dates.
Our next ultrasound is in 3 weeks on June 16th. At that point we'll be able to see our little bean as well as it's heartbeat. I can't wait!
The doctor also gave me a prescription for diclectin. I am already starting with the nausea so this way I have it on hand if/when things get worse. Never thought I would actually be happy to feel sick! So far it just makes things more real and exciting. Probably won't say the same thing in a few weeks but right now I am enjoying all the not so fun pregnancy things since I am soooo grateful to be in this situation.
So as it stands now we have an early gestational sac growing in the uterus and measuring right on target for my dates.
Our next ultrasound is in 3 weeks on June 16th. At that point we'll be able to see our little bean as well as it's heartbeat. I can't wait!
The doctor also gave me a prescription for diclectin. I am already starting with the nausea so this way I have it on hand if/when things get worse. Never thought I would actually be happy to feel sick! So far it just makes things more real and exciting. Probably won't say the same thing in a few weeks but right now I am enjoying all the not so fun pregnancy things since I am soooo grateful to be in this situation.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
A little secret
Well, now that we've told the parents.... I think it's safe to put this here.
Took a test Wednesday and Thursday and saw this (top is Wednesday, bottom is Thursday) I apologize for the quality of the picture, it was taken with my phone.
Had my bloodwork done yesterday and beta came back at 354 and progesterone 127. It's official, we're pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To compare numbers, my first pregnancy, at equivalent date, beta was 50 and progesterond about 27. I was told that was too low and not a good pregnancy, they were right.
Second pregnancy, beta 2 days later than this was 37 and progesterone 38. Stopped the meds and progesterone dropped to 3. This pregnancy was ectopic.
The nurse said that in 2 days from now they want it definately over 100 to be viable and ideally over 300. We're already there!
Our first ultrasound is scheduled for Thursday to rule out for sure another ectopic and to see if it's one or two! It will be too early for a heartbeat but we should be able to see a baby as a little blob :)
I am over the moon happy right now and since this is probably our last chance at being pregnant no matter what the outcome, I will try and enjoy every minute of it and crossing my finger we're in this for another 9 months. Our due date is January 25th :)
If you know me in real life, please keep this a secret for now, extended family have not been told the news yet and probably won't until we see a heartbeat.
Took a test Wednesday and Thursday and saw this (top is Wednesday, bottom is Thursday) I apologize for the quality of the picture, it was taken with my phone.
Had my bloodwork done yesterday and beta came back at 354 and progesterone 127. It's official, we're pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To compare numbers, my first pregnancy, at equivalent date, beta was 50 and progesterond about 27. I was told that was too low and not a good pregnancy, they were right.
Second pregnancy, beta 2 days later than this was 37 and progesterone 38. Stopped the meds and progesterone dropped to 3. This pregnancy was ectopic.
The nurse said that in 2 days from now they want it definately over 100 to be viable and ideally over 300. We're already there!
Our first ultrasound is scheduled for Thursday to rule out for sure another ectopic and to see if it's one or two! It will be too early for a heartbeat but we should be able to see a baby as a little blob :)
I am over the moon happy right now and since this is probably our last chance at being pregnant no matter what the outcome, I will try and enjoy every minute of it and crossing my finger we're in this for another 9 months. Our due date is January 25th :)
If you know me in real life, please keep this a secret for now, extended family have not been told the news yet and probably won't until we see a heartbeat.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Half way there
Well made it through the first half of the dreaded 2 week wait. Unfortunately I've been sick through most of it. I caught a stupid cold that just doesn't seem to want to let go. At first it was more of a head cold and now it's moved down to my lungs. And of course I can't take anything to help with the symptoms. I really hope I am suffering through this for a reason!
My spirits so far have been good. I've been trying to not get my hopes up too much but it's been hard not to. I catch myself getting hopeful and excited but I keep trying to push that part down and away but it's definitely there. I'm just so scared of being hurt again. I am also very scared to test now and I almost prefer not knowing it's better than knowing it didn't work but on the flip side if it did, I'd like to know sooner rather than later!
My spirits so far have been good. I've been trying to not get my hopes up too much but it's been hard not to. I catch myself getting hopeful and excited but I keep trying to push that part down and away but it's definitely there. I'm just so scared of being hurt again. I am also very scared to test now and I almost prefer not knowing it's better than knowing it didn't work but on the flip side if it did, I'd like to know sooner rather than later!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
PUPO again
Well I am officially PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise) again.
Out of our 7 embryos, 2 had arrested completely, 3 were very slow growing and not of freezable quality, 2 had made it to an early blast stage, one of which was of average quality and one was below average. We transfred both of the blasts. Our first cycle when we made it to a 5 day transfer, both blasts had been of average quality.
I am pretty happy with the outcome so far and now we just wait. The odds of this cycle working out is about 50% and we are hoppy our little embryos are snuggling in nicely :)
Out of our 7 embryos, 2 had arrested completely, 3 were very slow growing and not of freezable quality, 2 had made it to an early blast stage, one of which was of average quality and one was below average. We transfred both of the blasts. Our first cycle when we made it to a 5 day transfer, both blasts had been of average quality.
I am pretty happy with the outcome so far and now we just wait. The odds of this cycle working out is about 50% and we are hoppy our little embryos are snuggling in nicely :)
Saturday, May 7, 2011
No news is good news
Well the clinic didn't call today so that means we are still on track for a day 5 transfer. Yay!!!!!
I never thought we'd get a day 5 transfer so I hadn't even booked Tuesday off. Looks like I need to call my boss and tell him I'll be only be back on Wednesday.
I never thought we'd get a day 5 transfer so I hadn't even booked Tuesday off. Looks like I need to call my boss and tell him I'll be only be back on Wednesday.
Friday, May 6, 2011
we have embryos!!
Just got the phone call from the nurse and we have 7 embryos growing!!! I am over the moon and started crying happy tears :)
We are currently scheduled for a day 5 transfer on Tuesday but I am preparing myself for a call tomorrow to tell me it will be a day 3 instead. It just depends on how many arrest between now and then. Crossing my fingers most of the 7 embies keep going strong :)
For today at least I am walking around with a huge smile on my face.
Hmm, now I just realized I didn't ask how many of the 12 were mature. Doesn't really make a difference though but I am curious now.
We are currently scheduled for a day 5 transfer on Tuesday but I am preparing myself for a call tomorrow to tell me it will be a day 3 instead. It just depends on how many arrest between now and then. Crossing my fingers most of the 7 embies keep going strong :)
For today at least I am walking around with a huge smile on my face.
Hmm, now I just realized I didn't ask how many of the 12 were mature. Doesn't really make a difference though but I am curious now.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Retrieval done
Retrieval was today and we got 12 eggs!! Woohoo!!
Overall things went much smoother this time. I warned the nurse ahead of time of my difficult veins for IVs so she went and got someone else. I think that was the fastest I've ever had an IV done and just one poke (the nurse actually admitted it was it was just blind luck as she had no idea if the vein was even there!)
I was also given more drugs for the retrieval. Again the ketomine itself was wearing off too quick but I was given more fentinyl and topped up mid procedure which definately helped. It was still painful but not as much as the other 2 times which makes me very happy :)
Now I wait for tomorrow's phone call to find out if any of those 12 eggs were any good.
Overall things went much smoother this time. I warned the nurse ahead of time of my difficult veins for IVs so she went and got someone else. I think that was the fastest I've ever had an IV done and just one poke (the nurse actually admitted it was it was just blind luck as she had no idea if the vein was even there!)
I was also given more drugs for the retrieval. Again the ketomine itself was wearing off too quick but I was given more fentinyl and topped up mid procedure which definately helped. It was still painful but not as much as the other 2 times which makes me very happy :)
Now I wait for tomorrow's phone call to find out if any of those 12 eggs were any good.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Almost at the end
U/S # 3 was yesterday. Some of the missing follicles seemed to have re-appeared so as I thought, the tech on Sunday had missed quite a few. About 10 were over 15mm trigger was last night.
I was given Milk of Magnesia to take again. Last time I wasn't able to stomach it at all, this time I got half the dose which I better than nothing! I have been feeling the effects from it so I guess it was all I needed anyway.
My estrogen wasn't quite as high as the amount of follicles I had so the nurse told us to expect about 5 of the eggs to be mature. I wonder if it's an indication of the egg quality again? Kind of worries me but I keep reminding myself that there's nothing I can do about it now anyway and I just need to go with the flow.
I am soooo nervous about the fertilization report we'll get Friday. I should be thinking about the retrieval right now but my stress is already focused on the step afterwards :(
If things go as planned, transfer will be mother's day. I hope that's a good sign!
I was given Milk of Magnesia to take again. Last time I wasn't able to stomach it at all, this time I got half the dose which I better than nothing! I have been feeling the effects from it so I guess it was all I needed anyway.
My estrogen wasn't quite as high as the amount of follicles I had so the nurse told us to expect about 5 of the eggs to be mature. I wonder if it's an indication of the egg quality again? Kind of worries me but I keep reminding myself that there's nothing I can do about it now anyway and I just need to go with the flow.
I am soooo nervous about the fertilization report we'll get Friday. I should be thinking about the retrieval right now but my stress is already focused on the step afterwards :(
If things go as planned, transfer will be mother's day. I hope that's a good sign!
Monday, May 2, 2011
Well ultrasound #2 was yesterday. It seems like a bunch of the follicles the tech saw on Thursday have disappeared. We currently have 8 growing nicely in a bunch. I do however wonder if this tech was just not as thorough and there is actually more? She did do the scan pretty quick. Next scan is tomorrow so I guess we'll know more then.
If it is only 8 follicles then I am a little disppointed considering we had twice that only 3 days prior. However if those 8 are all good and fertilize then I'll be soooo happy. Only time will tell I guess. To only have a crystal ball...
I also now have a mystery rash/or burn on my stomach. The nurses at the clinic said they have never seen anything like it before. Yay, another mistery. The doctor told me to take Benedryl to see if that helps and we'll know that way if it's from an alergic reaction or not. So far no change after 24 hours on Benedryl but the Cetrotide did not even leave a mark this morning!
If it is only 8 follicles then I am a little disppointed considering we had twice that only 3 days prior. However if those 8 are all good and fertilize then I'll be soooo happy. Only time will tell I guess. To only have a crystal ball...
I also now have a mystery rash/or burn on my stomach. The nurses at the clinic said they have never seen anything like it before. Yay, another mistery. The doctor told me to take Benedryl to see if that helps and we'll know that way if it's from an alergic reaction or not. So far no change after 24 hours on Benedryl but the Cetrotide did not even leave a mark this morning!
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Things are moving along
Well I've been horrible at updating my blog this cycle.
Things are quickly moving along. I started stimming over the weekend and just had my first u/s appointment this morning. Things are looking good so far. This is has actually been the best start to date. The doctor said that it looks like I am having a much more "robust stimmulation" . Now if only that can translate into robust eggs and healthy embryos and then a baby!
We have about 5 or 6 follicles showing up on the chart with 13 more coming up behind, most of which were just on the edge of showing up on the chart. Grow follies grow!!
My stomach is starting to look like a battle zone. With the repronex I usually get a red circle a few inches big that lasts a few days and is at it worst about 12 hours after the injection. There is usually no pain other than when injecting. This time it looks like I am having a more adverse reaction to one of the shots. I have some VERY red marks that are super sore. It was super painful in the shower and clothes rubbing against it hurts. The thing that's weird is that it's a few inches away from where I did the actual injection. I had my usual redness at the injection site plus this. Maybe it's not even related??
Things are quickly moving along. I started stimming over the weekend and just had my first u/s appointment this morning. Things are looking good so far. This is has actually been the best start to date. The doctor said that it looks like I am having a much more "robust stimmulation" . Now if only that can translate into robust eggs and healthy embryos and then a baby!
We have about 5 or 6 follicles showing up on the chart with 13 more coming up behind, most of which were just on the edge of showing up on the chart. Grow follies grow!!
My stomach is starting to look like a battle zone. With the repronex I usually get a red circle a few inches big that lasts a few days and is at it worst about 12 hours after the injection. There is usually no pain other than when injecting. This time it looks like I am having a more adverse reaction to one of the shots. I have some VERY red marks that are super sore. It was super painful in the shower and clothes rubbing against it hurts. The thing that's weird is that it's a few inches away from where I did the actual injection. I had my usual redness at the injection site plus this. Maybe it's not even related??
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
First injection of the cycle done
Well we are officially back on this rollercoaster and the hormones have started again. Yesterday I put on the first patch and this morning was my first injection.
I was a little worried about this morning's injection as it is the first time I used this new medication. From googling, there actually seems to be a world-wide shortage of orgalutran so I was put on cetrotide instead which uses the same ingredients really but requires you to mix a powder with a liquid.
With the orgalutran I had a small red welt that would last a few hours at most and then go away. I was also super itchy right after the injection. With the cetrotide there was no itchiness, a little bit of burning but not too bad. The red welt however is much bigger. It's been an hour now and still very obviously there. We'll see how long it lasts! If this is the only side effect though I'll be happy :)
I was a little worried about this morning's injection as it is the first time I used this new medication. From googling, there actually seems to be a world-wide shortage of orgalutran so I was put on cetrotide instead which uses the same ingredients really but requires you to mix a powder with a liquid.
With the orgalutran I had a small red welt that would last a few hours at most and then go away. I was also super itchy right after the injection. With the cetrotide there was no itchiness, a little bit of burning but not too bad. The red welt however is much bigger. It's been an hour now and still very obviously there. We'll see how long it lasts! If this is the only side effect though I'll be happy :)
Monday, April 11, 2011
Things are starting to move
Well I finally got my positive OPK on Saturday about 2 days later than usual. I'll be starting the Estrogen Patch on April 18th.
I was supposed to be on Orgalutran from the 19th-21st but the clinic ran out so we'll be using cetrotide instead. I was told the side effect are the same as orgalutron; it's just more of a pain to use since it involves mixing saline water with a powder before I can inject. The Repronex and the trigger shot work the same way (everything is pretty much pre-measured so it isn't hard) so it shouldn't be too much of an issue.
Now my thing is, how does a fertility clinic run out of a fertility medication? Apparantly they won't get any orgalutran until the end of May! This happened last time with the dexamethasone but thankfully they got it in a few days before I needed it so we were ok.
I was supposed to be on Orgalutran from the 19th-21st but the clinic ran out so we'll be using cetrotide instead. I was told the side effect are the same as orgalutron; it's just more of a pain to use since it involves mixing saline water with a powder before I can inject. The Repronex and the trigger shot work the same way (everything is pretty much pre-measured so it isn't hard) so it shouldn't be too much of an issue.
Now my thing is, how does a fertility clinic run out of a fertility medication? Apparantly they won't get any orgalutran until the end of May! This happened last time with the dexamethasone but thankfully they got it in a few days before I needed it so we were ok.
Monday, March 28, 2011
She showed up!
Well AF finally showed up one week late. This was actually the longest cycle I've had in about 3 years not counting when I had my miscarriages.
I called it in to the clinic. Usually they require me to pay the cryo fee (fee to freeze any leftover embryos) upfront before they even send my file to the nurses. However this time they didn't ask for it? We haven't anything to freeze in either of our two previous cycles so I am not too worried about it. They would have just ended up having to refund it back to us anyay.
I also found it funny how the nurse was explaining to me how things were going to work over the cycle. After hearing by bored sounding answers she was like "You've done this before, haven't you." Umm, this will be the third time same protocol, same doses, did she not look at my file before calling?? She then asks me if I wanted a teaching visit. Umm, no thanks I think I know how to inject myself by now :P I rather not take time off work I don't have to.
At least we got the ball rolling now. Next step is testing for ovulation starting next week. Once I get a positive OPK (ovulation perdictor kit) then I call that in and wait again for 10 more days. That's when the fun really starts. Lots of boring waiting for the next 3 weeks but from experience I know they will fly by.
Crossing my fingers and toes that third time's the charm!
I called it in to the clinic. Usually they require me to pay the cryo fee (fee to freeze any leftover embryos) upfront before they even send my file to the nurses. However this time they didn't ask for it? We haven't anything to freeze in either of our two previous cycles so I am not too worried about it. They would have just ended up having to refund it back to us anyay.
I also found it funny how the nurse was explaining to me how things were going to work over the cycle. After hearing by bored sounding answers she was like "You've done this before, haven't you." Umm, this will be the third time same protocol, same doses, did she not look at my file before calling?? She then asks me if I wanted a teaching visit. Umm, no thanks I think I know how to inject myself by now :P I rather not take time off work I don't have to.
At least we got the ball rolling now. Next step is testing for ovulation starting next week. Once I get a positive OPK (ovulation perdictor kit) then I call that in and wait again for 10 more days. That's when the fun really starts. Lots of boring waiting for the next 3 weeks but from experience I know they will fly by.
Crossing my fingers and toes that third time's the charm!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
AF is MIA
Where or where is AF? She was due on Saturday. One of the few times I am looking forward to her arrival so that we can get his show on the road she is MIA.
Before anybody asks, I am 100% sure I am not pregnant so it's not because of that. It's also been a pretty stressful month so I am pretty sure that's the cause. These are the times I wish I was charting again. I know I had ovulation signs for almost a week after when I should have ovulated so I knew this was going to be a possibility but was really hoping my body would behave.
I am really hoping that by posting this, she'll finally show up :P
Once she comes, we call in our day 1, pay the clinic the fee for freezing (which we get back if there is nothing to freeze) and then we wait some more. Things will only start moving about 3 weeks after I call in my day 1.
Before anybody asks, I am 100% sure I am not pregnant so it's not because of that. It's also been a pretty stressful month so I am pretty sure that's the cause. These are the times I wish I was charting again. I know I had ovulation signs for almost a week after when I should have ovulated so I knew this was going to be a possibility but was really hoping my body would behave.
I am really hoping that by posting this, she'll finally show up :P
Once she comes, we call in our day 1, pay the clinic the fee for freezing (which we get back if there is nothing to freeze) and then we wait some more. Things will only start moving about 3 weeks after I call in my day 1.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Reality setting in
This morning was not such a good morning. Reality is setting in that there is a very real possibility that I will never have that biological child. I will most likely never be able to look at my child and see myself in them, never see my familie's traits. This has always been something I did not think I cared about but now that I am faced with it I guess it seems I do. Don't get me wrong, the yearn to have children his stronger than the need for a bio child so we will definately pursue adoption or donor eggs but for now I am mourning my fertility.
I guess this is probably at the core of why I want to get this next cycle started as soon as possible. I need to know one way or another whether I should be closing the door on the prospect of a bio child. I feel like by waiting to cycle it's like pulling a band aid off slowly and just stretching out the process. I also compare it to dangling that carrot just out of my reach. There's that little bit of hope of getting that child that feels like if I just stretch hard enough maybe I could grasp it. The longer it's hanging there the more cruel it seems.
I guess this is probably at the core of why I want to get this next cycle started as soon as possible. I need to know one way or another whether I should be closing the door on the prospect of a bio child. I feel like by waiting to cycle it's like pulling a band aid off slowly and just stretching out the process. I also compare it to dangling that carrot just out of my reach. There's that little bit of hope of getting that child that feels like if I just stretch hard enough maybe I could grasp it. The longer it's hanging there the more cruel it seems.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Follow-up appointment
Well we had our follow up with the specialist today. We got pretty much the answers we expected which was none really.
He showed us the embryologist report which had a paragraph in bold that was basically medical jargon for my eggs were crap and there was a definate egg quality issue this time that was not there 6 months earlier.
When we asked the doctor if it was my reserve that deterioated that badly over 6 months, we were told it was "hard to tell" so bascially it's a crapshoot whether our next cycle will be closer to the first time or similar or worse to the second.
On paper, the stimulation, hormone levels looked even better than the first time and just goes to show you that you really don't know what you have until you get in there.
We got the go ahead that we can now try again at any time. We'll be kept on the same protocol and same doses and will cross our fingers that 3rd times a charm! There is also now a note in our file to give me more happy drugs at the next retrieval, hopefully that will help with the pain.
Now the issue is that I want to get right back on the horse and call in my next day 1. (AF is 10 days away so stims would still only start in about 6 weeks with the egg retrieval and what not still about 8 weeks away)
My husband however wants to wait another cycle. It looks like we have some more discussions on the this issue in our future
He showed us the embryologist report which had a paragraph in bold that was basically medical jargon for my eggs were crap and there was a definate egg quality issue this time that was not there 6 months earlier.
When we asked the doctor if it was my reserve that deterioated that badly over 6 months, we were told it was "hard to tell" so bascially it's a crapshoot whether our next cycle will be closer to the first time or similar or worse to the second.
On paper, the stimulation, hormone levels looked even better than the first time and just goes to show you that you really don't know what you have until you get in there.
We got the go ahead that we can now try again at any time. We'll be kept on the same protocol and same doses and will cross our fingers that 3rd times a charm! There is also now a note in our file to give me more happy drugs at the next retrieval, hopefully that will help with the pain.
Now the issue is that I want to get right back on the horse and call in my next day 1. (AF is 10 days away so stims would still only start in about 6 weeks with the egg retrieval and what not still about 8 weeks away)
My husband however wants to wait another cycle. It looks like we have some more discussions on the this issue in our future
Thursday, February 17, 2011
It's official
Got the official word yesterday, blood test was negative. I knew that was coming based on the home pregnancy tests but hearing it officially from the nurse was a lot harder than I thought. I am thankful that if it wasn't going to work that at least it was negative from the start since I never want to go through what happened last time ever again but it's still hard.
I probably won't be posting much for the next little bit, but I promise to update after my follow-up with the doctor in 3 weeks.
I probably won't be posting much for the next little bit, but I promise to update after my follow-up with the doctor in 3 weeks.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
In shock
Wow, everything sure has been put into perspective today. We lost a very dear friend today who passed away suddenly without warning and leaves behind a brokenhearted wife and a 6.5 month old baby boy.
He will be terribly missed and my heart is broken for his wife and son. I feel so useless but thankful we were able to be there for her until her family arrived to be by her side..
Sunday, February 13, 2011
BFN
Well I tested yesterday morning and got a BFN (Big fat negative).
I haven't let myself dwell on it too much yet which I know is probably not a good thing. I have a horrible habit of just ignoring things and not dealing with them. I just put it out of my mind and hope time makes it feel better.
I even had a very good friend staying at our place when I took the test and I know she would have been there for me but I just wasn't able to talk about it. I guess it's my defense mechanism to just not deal.
I think the non logical part of me is still holding out hope that it was just too early or something was wrong with the test. Blood test is Wednesday and in the meantime I am keeping on my medications as directed and just trying to get through one day at a time.
I haven't let myself dwell on it too much yet which I know is probably not a good thing. I have a horrible habit of just ignoring things and not dealing with them. I just put it out of my mind and hope time makes it feel better.
I even had a very good friend staying at our place when I took the test and I know she would have been there for me but I just wasn't able to talk about it. I guess it's my defense mechanism to just not deal.
I think the non logical part of me is still holding out hope that it was just too early or something was wrong with the test. Blood test is Wednesday and in the meantime I am keeping on my medications as directed and just trying to get through one day at a time.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Sorry I've been bad about posting lately. I've pretty much been trying as much as possible to put this whole IVF thing out of my thoughts. It's the only way to stay sane really durring the 2ww. Just need to stay distracted.
Things are going ok, some days I am very optomistic other days not so much. I had some weight gain earlier this week (4 pounds in 3 days) and my weight is dropping back down again without any changes to activity levels or diet so I REALLY hope this is a good sign. I had something similar happen in my last pregnancy right around the same time. Basically with IVF, after the egg retrieval, the follicles fill up with fluid again which is what causes the weight gain, the HCG produced during pregnancy aggravates this which why it would be normal to gain weight after implantation time.
Getting closer and closer to testing time!
Things are going ok, some days I am very optomistic other days not so much. I had some weight gain earlier this week (4 pounds in 3 days) and my weight is dropping back down again without any changes to activity levels or diet so I REALLY hope this is a good sign. I had something similar happen in my last pregnancy right around the same time. Basically with IVF, after the egg retrieval, the follicles fill up with fluid again which is what causes the weight gain, the HCG produced during pregnancy aggravates this which why it would be normal to gain weight after implantation time.
Getting closer and closer to testing time!
Monday, February 7, 2011
Well I'm technically halfway through the two week wait. I'm honestly not feeling very optomistic. Don't get me wrong, I am still hoping like crazy that this works but I am definately unable to get excited about it. In my head I'm already planning on when the next try will be.
Physically I am feeling ok, except for the tiredness (side effect). We had guests over last night for superbowl and I ended up going to bed before they even left! I felt sooo bad, but with it being a workday today I knew from experience that I needed the sleep in order to function for the rest of the week. Man I am such a baby :P
Physically I am feeling ok, except for the tiredness (side effect). We had guests over last night for superbowl and I ended up going to bed before they even left! I felt sooo bad, but with it being a workday today I knew from experience that I needed the sleep in order to function for the rest of the week. Man I am such a baby :P
Friday, February 4, 2011
Ok, here the description of what happens with the embryo transfer. Hopefully this post will be shorter :P
Embryo transfer is done on a full bladder so it can get quite uncomfortable. Again, we were to show up to the clinic ahead of time. First thing that happens is they do bloodwork since they want to check that the progesterone is nice and high and that the estrogen has not dropped too much since egg retrieval (though they don't draw blood on retrieval day, I assume they use trigger day to compare ?)
Nurse then calls you into the recovery room and we get to gown up again just like for the egg retrieval. We then go back to those comfy lazyboys where vitals are checked again and ID arm bands are once again given (again they check these all the time, it's pretty important that the right embryos are transfered to the right people)
After that we are led to a room to talk to the doctor. The doctor goes over the status of the embryos at that point and discuss how many / which ones to put back (this time we only had one so no decision to make really but we got to see how many cells/ quality it was)
We then go back to recovery and wait a bit until they are ready for the procedure (meanwhile the bladder is filling up the whole time and is super uncomfortable. Since we show up at the clinic one hour ahead of time, all the water has to be drunk before then so lots of time to really fill up!
Finnally it's time to do the transfer. We go into the procedure room (same one as for the egg retrieval). Thankfully for the second transfer I got to wait to put my legs in the stirups until the doctor started scrubbing in. This table faces the door the doctor comes in. Last time I was in the stirups uncovered for a good 5 minutes while people were going in and out that door. Umm, hello, not everyone needs to see that show!
The doctor then gets everything ready, speculum goes in, washes out everything and then puts in a catheder through the cervix (no worse than a pap really).
The embryologist then takes the embryo out of the incubator and puts it under the microscope for us to see on a screen before they transfer it. The embryologist then puts the embryo into some tube thingy (the part that threads into the catheder)
Ultra sound tech does an external ultra sound so the doctor can guide the catheder to the right place in the uterus (top) and then the embryo is transfered. We see a flash of bubbles on the screen when this happens plus they take a pic of it for us to take home. The doctor then waits 30 seconds to give a chance for the embryo to float away from the catheder and everything is taken out and checked by the embryologist under a microscope to ensure the embryo is gone. (If it's still there, they repeat the process, apparantly that doesn't hurt the chances of success, glad it hasn't happened to me)
Once the ok is given from the embryologist the doc removes the speculum and we're done. On the way out of the room I finally get to pee and then we sit and rest for half an hour in recovery while waiting for the bloodtest results. If the progesterone is too low they switch you to progesterone shots (mine has been fine) and if the estrogen drops too much they put you on Estrace (which happened to me this time).
And that's it!
Embryo transfer is done on a full bladder so it can get quite uncomfortable. Again, we were to show up to the clinic ahead of time. First thing that happens is they do bloodwork since they want to check that the progesterone is nice and high and that the estrogen has not dropped too much since egg retrieval (though they don't draw blood on retrieval day, I assume they use trigger day to compare ?)
Nurse then calls you into the recovery room and we get to gown up again just like for the egg retrieval. We then go back to those comfy lazyboys where vitals are checked again and ID arm bands are once again given (again they check these all the time, it's pretty important that the right embryos are transfered to the right people)
After that we are led to a room to talk to the doctor. The doctor goes over the status of the embryos at that point and discuss how many / which ones to put back (this time we only had one so no decision to make really but we got to see how many cells/ quality it was)
We then go back to recovery and wait a bit until they are ready for the procedure (meanwhile the bladder is filling up the whole time and is super uncomfortable. Since we show up at the clinic one hour ahead of time, all the water has to be drunk before then so lots of time to really fill up!
Finnally it's time to do the transfer. We go into the procedure room (same one as for the egg retrieval). Thankfully for the second transfer I got to wait to put my legs in the stirups until the doctor started scrubbing in. This table faces the door the doctor comes in. Last time I was in the stirups uncovered for a good 5 minutes while people were going in and out that door. Umm, hello, not everyone needs to see that show!
The doctor then gets everything ready, speculum goes in, washes out everything and then puts in a catheder through the cervix (no worse than a pap really).
The embryologist then takes the embryo out of the incubator and puts it under the microscope for us to see on a screen before they transfer it. The embryologist then puts the embryo into some tube thingy (the part that threads into the catheder)
Ultra sound tech does an external ultra sound so the doctor can guide the catheder to the right place in the uterus (top) and then the embryo is transfered. We see a flash of bubbles on the screen when this happens plus they take a pic of it for us to take home. The doctor then waits 30 seconds to give a chance for the embryo to float away from the catheder and everything is taken out and checked by the embryologist under a microscope to ensure the embryo is gone. (If it's still there, they repeat the process, apparantly that doesn't hurt the chances of success, glad it hasn't happened to me)
Once the ok is given from the embryologist the doc removes the speculum and we're done. On the way out of the room I finally get to pee and then we sit and rest for half an hour in recovery while waiting for the bloodtest results. If the progesterone is too low they switch you to progesterone shots (mine has been fine) and if the estrogen drops too much they put you on Estrace (which happened to me this time).
And that's it!
Egg Retrieval and Embryo Transfer
I have had a few questions about how exactly does the egg retrieval and embryo transfer work. Here's how it went for me, it was very similar for both IVFs
Egg retrieval:
The night beforeegg retrieval day, I was to have nothing to eat or drink after midnight.
I arrive at the clinic one hour before retrieval time, a nurse calls me in and we head to the recovery room.
The nurse then hands me a gown to change into (well 2 actually one forwards and one backwards so that at least you are covered) along with booties to go over the feet and a bonnet to cover the head. My husband changes into scrubs, booties, bonnet and given a face mask.
After getting changed, we go to our curtained area where I get a nice comfy lazyboy type chair to sit in and my poor husband gets a nice stiff wooden chair. The nurse then gets us to double check the file she is holding to make sure that it's ours. We are then given ID bracelets which gets double checked every time someone comes to see us.
Hubby then gets sent off to "do his business" and produce a sample. (No pressure, ;P). While he is gone, the nurse checks my vitals (temperature, blood pressure, pulse ox). After then she gives me a shot of Versed in the bum to help me to relax. I personally don't feel much of a difference with that stuff but whatever. Next the nurse has the pleasant task of trying to find a vein to put in an IV.
Once the IV is in, they give a bag of saline to rehydrate plus another bag that has antibiotics I think.
Usually around this time, hubby comes back. Doctor then comes in and walks us through what will happen and answers any questions we might have.
Then it's time to start, on our way to the procedure room, I stop by the washroom to empty my bladder (needs to be empty for them to see properly)
I then go into the procedure room and lay down on the gurney, prop up the legs in the stirrups. The nice meds are administered pretty much right away. This time I was given Fentanyl and Ketomine. Fentanyl makes you feel almost drunk ish and Ketomine, well that stuff makes you really out of it, if only it would have lasted longer before wearing off just as the procedure was starting!
The embryologist, nurses, and doctors (both time I had 2, it's a teaching place so fellows often take part) all come by and introduce themselves. Blood pressure and pulse ox are monitored throughout the whole thing
This next part I am a little fuzzy on, I am usually a little out of it with the drugs or in so much pain I try to shut it out.
Doc comes in, puts speculum in and washes everything out. Ultrasound probe then goes in and egg retrieval needle thingy is attached. They go through the vaginal wall with the needle to get to the ovary and then go in every follicle to drain it. Not sure what kind of container the fluid goes into but after every follicle someone is going back and forth handing it to the embryologist how counts out every time they get an egg. From the time they get the follicle to when the first egg is confirmed is about a minute? The whole thing doesn't take that long, seems long to me but probably 5 minutes max of the actual aspirating part?
When all is done, I get to sit up and get a ride back to recovery in a wheelchair. Usually in about 5 minutes we then get our final count of how many eggs were retrieved.
In recovery, blood pressure and pulse ox are still on and constantly measured, saline is given through IV the whole time. We are in recovery usually for about an hour where I get to drink juice and eat cookies. You also have to go pee before you leave or they won't let you go home. Oh and they have a warmer for sheets which are awesome, they constantly give you nice warm ones plus a folded warm one to put over the belly which helps with the cramping / pain.
If everything is normal then you get to go home at the end of the hour :)
Well this was pretty long winded, sorry about that. I'll come back later to describe the embryo transfer.
Egg retrieval:
The night beforeegg retrieval day, I was to have nothing to eat or drink after midnight.
I arrive at the clinic one hour before retrieval time, a nurse calls me in and we head to the recovery room.
The nurse then hands me a gown to change into (well 2 actually one forwards and one backwards so that at least you are covered) along with booties to go over the feet and a bonnet to cover the head. My husband changes into scrubs, booties, bonnet and given a face mask.
After getting changed, we go to our curtained area where I get a nice comfy lazyboy type chair to sit in and my poor husband gets a nice stiff wooden chair. The nurse then gets us to double check the file she is holding to make sure that it's ours. We are then given ID bracelets which gets double checked every time someone comes to see us.
Hubby then gets sent off to "do his business" and produce a sample. (No pressure, ;P). While he is gone, the nurse checks my vitals (temperature, blood pressure, pulse ox). After then she gives me a shot of Versed in the bum to help me to relax. I personally don't feel much of a difference with that stuff but whatever. Next the nurse has the pleasant task of trying to find a vein to put in an IV.
Once the IV is in, they give a bag of saline to rehydrate plus another bag that has antibiotics I think.
Usually around this time, hubby comes back. Doctor then comes in and walks us through what will happen and answers any questions we might have.
Then it's time to start, on our way to the procedure room, I stop by the washroom to empty my bladder (needs to be empty for them to see properly)
I then go into the procedure room and lay down on the gurney, prop up the legs in the stirrups. The nice meds are administered pretty much right away. This time I was given Fentanyl and Ketomine. Fentanyl makes you feel almost drunk ish and Ketomine, well that stuff makes you really out of it, if only it would have lasted longer before wearing off just as the procedure was starting!
The embryologist, nurses, and doctors (both time I had 2, it's a teaching place so fellows often take part) all come by and introduce themselves. Blood pressure and pulse ox are monitored throughout the whole thing
This next part I am a little fuzzy on, I am usually a little out of it with the drugs or in so much pain I try to shut it out.
Doc comes in, puts speculum in and washes everything out. Ultrasound probe then goes in and egg retrieval needle thingy is attached. They go through the vaginal wall with the needle to get to the ovary and then go in every follicle to drain it. Not sure what kind of container the fluid goes into but after every follicle someone is going back and forth handing it to the embryologist how counts out every time they get an egg. From the time they get the follicle to when the first egg is confirmed is about a minute? The whole thing doesn't take that long, seems long to me but probably 5 minutes max of the actual aspirating part?
When all is done, I get to sit up and get a ride back to recovery in a wheelchair. Usually in about 5 minutes we then get our final count of how many eggs were retrieved.
In recovery, blood pressure and pulse ox are still on and constantly measured, saline is given through IV the whole time. We are in recovery usually for about an hour where I get to drink juice and eat cookies. You also have to go pee before you leave or they won't let you go home. Oh and they have a warmer for sheets which are awesome, they constantly give you nice warm ones plus a folded warm one to put over the belly which helps with the cramping / pain.
If everything is normal then you get to go home at the end of the hour :)
Well this was pretty long winded, sorry about that. I'll come back later to describe the embryo transfer.
The dreaded 2ww
Oh the dreaded 2ww (two week wait). How I loathe thee
My brain is now going a mile a minute with so many questions. I guess it's only human to wonder why? what if? I hate having so little control and no answers.
Here's a few of my random questions:
Is the chance of an ectopic higher with a day 3 transfer vs a day 5? The embryo has more time to float around with a day 3 transfer so logically I would think maybe?
What are the odds our one remaining embryo is even genetically normal ? If every single other one from the batch was not, why would this one be?
The biggest question though is what changed? Why was this cycle so different than our last IVF? Was it the methotrexate from the fall that caused more of a strain on my ovaries than the average person? Was it the fact that our trigger shot was a higher dose (they lowered the dosage last time to half because my estrogen was higher, this time I had the normal one). We'll probably never know.
My brain is now going a mile a minute with so many questions. I guess it's only human to wonder why? what if? I hate having so little control and no answers.
Here's a few of my random questions:
Is the chance of an ectopic higher with a day 3 transfer vs a day 5? The embryo has more time to float around with a day 3 transfer so logically I would think maybe?
What are the odds our one remaining embryo is even genetically normal ? If every single other one from the batch was not, why would this one be?
The biggest question though is what changed? Why was this cycle so different than our last IVF? Was it the methotrexate from the fall that caused more of a strain on my ovaries than the average person? Was it the fact that our trigger shot was a higher dose (they lowered the dosage last time to half because my estrogen was higher, this time I had the normal one). We'll probably never know.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
PUPO
Well I'm officially PUPO (Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise). We were able to transfer one 7 cell average quality embryo this morning. The other embryo was up to 8 cells but was abnormal (had more than one nucleus) so it was discarded. Our odds of success went from 50-60% to 30% but I'll take it.
I asked the doctor on call how common our situation is and she told us they do see this happen in those who need high doses of stimulation drugs (I took almost the max). They don't really know why but it's a sign there is definately something wrong with my ovaries but it's nothing they can fix and is a genetic thing. Yay, I love having one of those diagnoses they don't know much about.
We were also given another hormone to add to the mix. My estrogen level dropped too much sine the egg retrieval so we are adding Estrace. I now take progesterone 3 times a day and estrace twice daily. At least they are not in needle format!
Now we just wait and hope our little embryo snuggles in and keeps growing (in the right spot of course!)
I asked the doctor on call how common our situation is and she told us they do see this happen in those who need high doses of stimulation drugs (I took almost the max). They don't really know why but it's a sign there is definately something wrong with my ovaries but it's nothing they can fix and is a genetic thing. Yay, I love having one of those diagnoses they don't know much about.
We were also given another hormone to add to the mix. My estrogen level dropped too much sine the egg retrieval so we are adding Estrace. I now take progesterone 3 times a day and estrace twice daily. At least they are not in needle format!
Now we just wait and hope our little embryo snuggles in and keeps growing (in the right spot of course!)
Monday, January 31, 2011
This sucks
It is never a good sign when the doctor themselves calls you.
Of the 9 eggs retrieved, 8 were mature but only 2 fertilized. Because of the huge drop off, it's up in the air if we'll even have anything to transfer by Wednesday.
Basically the odds of being successful this cyle has gone completely down the tubes.
I'm devastated, I can't help but feel that our ectopic pregnancy was the closest we'll ever get to success.
Of the 9 eggs retrieved, 8 were mature but only 2 fertilized. Because of the huge drop off, it's up in the air if we'll even have anything to transfer by Wednesday.
Basically the odds of being successful this cyle has gone completely down the tubes.
I'm devastated, I can't help but feel that our ectopic pregnancy was the closest we'll ever get to success.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Glad that's over with
Well I for one am super happy this morning is over with. The part everyone is interested in, we had 9 eggs retrieved. We should get a call tomorrow to find out how many fertilized.
The morning started ok, I couldn't sleep much last night but thankfully we were the first ones in.
The nurse who was there today appparanly is not super good at putting in IVs. I have small, deep, rolly veins. Not so good to get an IV in on someone who couldn't eat or drink for the last 12 hours. I seriously think she was about to give up but thankfully after about 15 minutes she finally got the IV in. (and actually did a good job, no bruise!)
We then got to speak to the doctor and I expressed my concerns regarding how much the retrieval hurt last time so they agreed to add some Ketamine to mix of meds.
We were then brought into the procedure room and they administered all the fancy drugs. I loved the drugs, they definately made me completely out of it. The only problme was, by the time they started, the drugs were already wearing off! They didn't believe me but my husband could also for sure tell. I guess I metabolize the stuff much faster than the average person.
So overall if anything I found this time to be even more painful than the last. They had issues draining the follicles for some reason and also ended up changing the needle like 2 or 3 times. I don' t remember that happening last time for sure. The procdure itself ended up taking more time than the last.
Now that it's over, I am in quite a bit of pain. Last time I had some menstrual type cramps for the rest of the day but nothing a heating pad couldn't help with. This time I could barely move up until about a half hour ago and the heating pad and tylenol were not cutting it. Thankfully I seem to have turned the corner and am feeling quite a bit better and now able to sit up and write this!
I am also a little disappointed about the amount of eggs retrieved. I know 9 is a good number but last time all the follicles had eggs and they didn't this time. I can't help but wonder if the follicles they had issues draining were the culprit?
Let's just hope all those 9 fertilize and keep growing until day 5! Now we just wait and see.
The morning started ok, I couldn't sleep much last night but thankfully we were the first ones in.
The nurse who was there today appparanly is not super good at putting in IVs. I have small, deep, rolly veins. Not so good to get an IV in on someone who couldn't eat or drink for the last 12 hours. I seriously think she was about to give up but thankfully after about 15 minutes she finally got the IV in. (and actually did a good job, no bruise!)
We then got to speak to the doctor and I expressed my concerns regarding how much the retrieval hurt last time so they agreed to add some Ketamine to mix of meds.
We were then brought into the procedure room and they administered all the fancy drugs. I loved the drugs, they definately made me completely out of it. The only problme was, by the time they started, the drugs were already wearing off! They didn't believe me but my husband could also for sure tell. I guess I metabolize the stuff much faster than the average person.
So overall if anything I found this time to be even more painful than the last. They had issues draining the follicles for some reason and also ended up changing the needle like 2 or 3 times. I don' t remember that happening last time for sure. The procdure itself ended up taking more time than the last.
Now that it's over, I am in quite a bit of pain. Last time I had some menstrual type cramps for the rest of the day but nothing a heating pad couldn't help with. This time I could barely move up until about a half hour ago and the heating pad and tylenol were not cutting it. Thankfully I seem to have turned the corner and am feeling quite a bit better and now able to sit up and write this!
I am also a little disappointed about the amount of eggs retrieved. I know 9 is a good number but last time all the follicles had eggs and they didn't this time. I can't help but wonder if the follicles they had issues draining were the culprit?
Let's just hope all those 9 fertilize and keep growing until day 5! Now we just wait and see.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Milk of Magnesia sucks!
Well the trigger shot went fine last night. Woohoo, no more giving myself needles for a bit :)
The part that didn't go so well was the milk of magnesia. The clinic requires you to take this stuff the night of the trigger to "clear the pipes" so to speak before the egg retrieval . Well apparanly my stomach did not like it and it came right back up about 10 seconds later.
I called the clinic first thing this morning to make sure it was ok and see if there was something else I could take. Thankfully they said that since I'm not backed up, there shouldn't be a problem. Phew.
Of course, when it comes to super greasy foods I have a stomach of steel but a little bit of medication with a bad taste and it's game over.
The part that didn't go so well was the milk of magnesia. The clinic requires you to take this stuff the night of the trigger to "clear the pipes" so to speak before the egg retrieval . Well apparanly my stomach did not like it and it came right back up about 10 seconds later.
I called the clinic first thing this morning to make sure it was ok and see if there was something else I could take. Thankfully they said that since I'm not backed up, there shouldn't be a problem. Phew.
Of course, when it comes to super greasy foods I have a stomach of steel but a little bit of medication with a bad taste and it's game over.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Trigger tonight!
Woohoo!, only one more injection left and that's the trigger shot!
Today's U/S showed 10 follicles over 15mm nicely bunched together and about 3-4 more just little further behind but should be ready by retrieval day :)
Egg Retrieval is scheduled for Sunday morning at 8:30 (first one of the day) :)
I was finding the injections were starting to hurt again for some reason to the point I think my husband was going to have to start giving them to me because I was starting to chicken out. With just one more to go, I think I can handle it.
Today's U/S showed 10 follicles over 15mm nicely bunched together and about 3-4 more just little further behind but should be ready by retrieval day :)
Egg Retrieval is scheduled for Sunday morning at 8:30 (first one of the day) :)
I was finding the injections were starting to hurt again for some reason to the point I think my husband was going to have to start giving them to me because I was starting to chicken out. With just one more to go, I think I can handle it.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Walking like an old lady!
Well I woke up this morning and man those ovaries are sooo sore. The motion of just walking hurts!
I don't remember this happening like this last time, maybe it's because I have more follicles this time? Of course now I am wondering if this is normal
Meanwhile I am getting weird looks at the office since I am walking soooo slowly :P
I don't remember this happening like this last time, maybe it's because I have more follicles this time? Of course now I am wondering if this is normal
Meanwhile I am getting weird looks at the office since I am walking soooo slowly :P
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Walking on air :)
U/S #3 went great! Lots of follicles showing up now (over 10 for sure, too many dots too count) and nicely grouped together (at the 12-14mm mark, over 15 is mature and ready to trigger).
Last cycle I responded to the meds way better than the doctors ever thought I would. I was so scared that it would have been a fluke. Well turns out maybe it wasn't because this time it's going even better! More follicles at this point and much nicer grouping (growing at same rate). I have no hogs so far this time that are taking up all the hormones and running away. I like it when the follies share :P
My lining is also looking great and thicker than last time so hopefully there will be a nice cushy place for the little embies to snuggle.
Please, Please keep going like this! I am walking on air for now. I've been down for so long that to finally get some good news like this is almost overwhelming. It feels weird to be happy! I know things can change on a dime, it's the nature of infertility but I am chosing to enjoy this for now. (I am weepy as I write this, man I am officially hormonal, lol)
The doctor also re-confirmed how much of a good sign it was that we conceived last time. Even though the outcome sucked, it showed we CAN get good eggs, good embryos. The fact that the little guy snuggled and thrived in such a hostile environment (my tube) demonstrates for sure we can make good embryos.
Next U/S is Friday. We get a break tomorrow since based on last cycle's response I showed we can get good eggs out of slightly larger follicles. We are triggering probably Friday or Saturday with the retrieval being Sunday/Monday.
Last cycle I responded to the meds way better than the doctors ever thought I would. I was so scared that it would have been a fluke. Well turns out maybe it wasn't because this time it's going even better! More follicles at this point and much nicer grouping (growing at same rate). I have no hogs so far this time that are taking up all the hormones and running away. I like it when the follies share :P
My lining is also looking great and thicker than last time so hopefully there will be a nice cushy place for the little embies to snuggle.
Please, Please keep going like this! I am walking on air for now. I've been down for so long that to finally get some good news like this is almost overwhelming. It feels weird to be happy! I know things can change on a dime, it's the nature of infertility but I am chosing to enjoy this for now. (I am weepy as I write this, man I am officially hormonal, lol)
The doctor also re-confirmed how much of a good sign it was that we conceived last time. Even though the outcome sucked, it showed we CAN get good eggs, good embryos. The fact that the little guy snuggled and thrived in such a hostile environment (my tube) demonstrates for sure we can make good embryos.
Next U/S is Friday. We get a break tomorrow since based on last cycle's response I showed we can get good eggs out of slightly larger follicles. We are triggering probably Friday or Saturday with the retrieval being Sunday/Monday.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Starting to get uncomfortable
I am starting to really feel those ovaries. Up until now it's mostly only been when I am laying down but not anymore. It's quite the weird feeling, it sort of feels like right before I ovulate pain combined with pre-period bloating all at the same time. Not super painful just makes me unconfortable.
I am also starting to run out of room to inject on my stomach! I can't help but wonder what happens if I do it too many times in one spot if there are issues. I find in some areas it stays marked for longer so I'll avoid that bruise / welt area but other times there's nothing so it looks like a clear spot and I just keep injecting there until it goes bad! Argh, the silly things I worry about :P
u/s # 3 is tomorrow morning, 2.5 more days of work until I am off for 6 work days :)
I am also starting to run out of room to inject on my stomach! I can't help but wonder what happens if I do it too many times in one spot if there are issues. I find in some areas it stays marked for longer so I'll avoid that bruise / welt area but other times there's nothing so it looks like a clear spot and I just keep injecting there until it goes bad! Argh, the silly things I worry about :P
u/s # 3 is tomorrow morning, 2.5 more days of work until I am off for 6 work days :)
Monday, January 24, 2011
U/S #2
U/s #2 went better than the first, I much prefered this tech. I didn't feel quite so rushed and she took her time. We are up to 7 measurable follicles between 10-13mm, most are around 11mm, there's also about 10 more that are less than 10mm. The doctor predicts the egg retrieval will be this weekend.
To compare, we had about 4 measurable at this point last time and the follicles are much closer in size this time around which is better. I hope it stays this way! Grow follies grow!
Up until now I've felt I've been pretty much on autopilot and that his wasn't happening. I am finally starting to come around and realize it's finally happening again :)
To compare, we had about 4 measurable at this point last time and the follicles are much closer in size this time around which is better. I hope it stays this way! Grow follies grow!
Up until now I've felt I've been pretty much on autopilot and that his wasn't happening. I am finally starting to come around and realize it's finally happening again :)
Saturday, January 22, 2011
ultrasound # 1
First U/S results are in, 12 little follicles growing (only 1 measurable at this point at 10mm). This is compared to 14 little ones at this point last time so looks like we're pretty much on track 
We might possibly be upping my Puregon dose depending on how my Estrogen levels look which means I need to keep my phone nearby, no call means same dose, a call means we change.
We might possibly be upping my Puregon dose depending on how my Estrogen levels look which means I need to keep my phone nearby, no call means same dose, a call means we change.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Sooo tired
OMG the exhaustion has started full force now. By 5pm last night I was ready to curl up in bed I was sooo tired. I managed to push myself to stay up until 8:30 but that was it!
Of course, I was awake at 5am this morning and couldn't go back to sleep (1 hour before my alarm clock) and I am now ready for a nap. This is going to be a looooonnng day.
Ultrasound #1 is tomorrow :) I always find the first one nerve wracking because that's when you find out if you're responding as you should.
Of course, I was awake at 5am this morning and couldn't go back to sleep (1 hour before my alarm clock) and I am now ready for a nap. This is going to be a looooonnng day.
Ultrasound #1 is tomorrow :) I always find the first one nerve wracking because that's when you find out if you're responding as you should.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Things went better yesterday with the repronex. Still burned going in but at least the red mark isn't as bad this morning. I wonder if it's just the area of the stomach? I definately prefer the Puregon injection, goes in WAY easier.
Side effects are not too bad yet. I think the tiredness is starting to kick in a little bit but it could also just be normal tiredness I guess.
Last cycle I was brought on day 4 of stims because I tended to surge pretty early with my IUIs so we wanted to get me started on the orglutran earlier. This time the first appointment is day 5 of stims. My biggest worry right now is that we'll get in on Saturday and my body will already be trying to ovulate! I know it's unlikely but it's still something that's been nagging at me. Maybe it's because I can already feel "something" working as in it's already uncomfortable lying on my stomach at night.
Side effects are not too bad yet. I think the tiredness is starting to kick in a little bit but it could also just be normal tiredness I guess.
Last cycle I was brought on day 4 of stims because I tended to surge pretty early with my IUIs so we wanted to get me started on the orglutran earlier. This time the first appointment is day 5 of stims. My biggest worry right now is that we'll get in on Saturday and my body will already be trying to ovulate! I know it's unlikely but it's still something that's been nagging at me. Maybe it's because I can already feel "something" working as in it's already uncomfortable lying on my stomach at night.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Well AF finally showed up yesterday and I start stimming tonight :)
My first u/s will be Saturday. Of course because it's a weekend I get a nice and early appointment. Oh well, more time to do stuff afterwards I guess.
I am however pretty frustrated with the clinic right now. Their pharmacy hours are 8:00-3:00. In order to pick up medications I have to take time off work. Usually I would pick up my medication at the beginning of my cycle (so leave work early once) and I would have enough to last me until my first appointment and just pick up more then. If it fell on a weekend, the nurses would take an imprint of the card and it would be processed on the Monday but I'd still get my drugs. This time however, the first time they didn't have my dexamethasone, they had run out so I had to go back. Now apparantly since my first appointment is on Saturday, I have to go back a 3rd time and pick up more to last me until my 2nd appointment! I hate it when they change their rules like this!
My first u/s will be Saturday. Of course because it's a weekend I get a nice and early appointment. Oh well, more time to do stuff afterwards I guess.
I am however pretty frustrated with the clinic right now. Their pharmacy hours are 8:00-3:00. In order to pick up medications I have to take time off work. Usually I would pick up my medication at the beginning of my cycle (so leave work early once) and I would have enough to last me until my first appointment and just pick up more then. If it fell on a weekend, the nurses would take an imprint of the card and it would be processed on the Monday but I'd still get my drugs. This time however, the first time they didn't have my dexamethasone, they had run out so I had to go back. Now apparantly since my first appointment is on Saturday, I have to go back a 3rd time and pick up more to last me until my 2nd appointment! I hate it when they change their rules like this!
Monday, January 17, 2011
Argh, where is AF!! The one time I am looking forward to it, she takes her time! I actually think things are finally strating now but it's too late to call the clinic. Guess it will have to wait until tomorrow. Now I have to wait and see what the clinic will consider my day 1. I've been lucky in the past, she always shows up super early so there's no wondering what will be my day 1 with the clinic.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Another day, another shot
The orgalutran shot didn't hurt as much today and way less itchy/burny. One more injection tomorrow then I wait for my day 1! I should start stimming as early as Sunday / Monday.
Starting to get annoyed already by those who know what is going on and keep saying they are so sure it's going to work and I'm going to have twins! There is nothing sure in this world and it is very possible that it doesn't. It's a friggen crapshoot at this point wether we end up with a baby or not, nevermind two. We're given right now about 50/50 chance of getting pregnant. Hopefully that stat stays that way doesn't drop.
Starting to get annoyed already by those who know what is going on and keep saying they are so sure it's going to work and I'm going to have twins! There is nothing sure in this world and it is very possible that it doesn't. It's a friggen crapshoot at this point wether we end up with a baby or not, nevermind two. We're given right now about 50/50 chance of getting pregnant. Hopefully that stat stays that way doesn't drop.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
One shot down, 35 more to go?
Survived the first shot of the cycle. I definately hesitated too much and went too slowly so it hurt more than it should have. Note to self, must jab quickly! Only one shot for the next 2 days then a small break and then the big stuff starts! I am sure these next few weeks will just fly by.
I do find myself though this time being much more patient. I guess the experience of going for beta after beta last time waiting for it to drop has made me learn patience. I also find myself not being able to look past the Embryo Transfer. I can't even let myself think about what the whole goal of this process is. Deep down I know I am hopeful because we did get one to stick last time but the thought of this not working or another miscarriage is just too scary to deal with.
Why can't I just conceive like someone normal!!
I do find myself though this time being much more patient. I guess the experience of going for beta after beta last time waiting for it to drop has made me learn patience. I also find myself not being able to look past the Embryo Transfer. I can't even let myself think about what the whole goal of this process is. Deep down I know I am hopeful because we did get one to stick last time but the thought of this not working or another miscarriage is just too scary to deal with.
Why can't I just conceive like someone normal!!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
First day of hormones
I called in my day 1 to the clinic on December 22. I then tested with OPKs (ovulation predictor kits) and got a positive right on schedule Jan 3rd.
Here we are 10 days later and it finally starts! This morning I had to remember to put on an Estrogen patch. So far so good. I didn't get much side effects from this last time so I don't expect it this time either. I'm kind of scared I didn't put it on right though as a corner is already peeling and it has to stay on until Friday morning.
Tomorrow morning I take the first injection of the cycle, Orgalutran. I always find the first injection to be the most difficult to psych myself out to do it. Hopefully it all goes smoothly!
I guess my husband now has an excuse for everything I do. I'm "hormonal"!
Here we are 10 days later and it finally starts! This morning I had to remember to put on an Estrogen patch. So far so good. I didn't get much side effects from this last time so I don't expect it this time either. I'm kind of scared I didn't put it on right though as a corner is already peeling and it has to stay on until Friday morning.
Tomorrow morning I take the first injection of the cycle, Orgalutran. I always find the first injection to be the most difficult to psych myself out to do it. Hopefully it all goes smoothly!
I guess my husband now has an excuse for everything I do. I'm "hormonal"!
My journey so far
Let's start off with a little bit about me and our journey to date. I'm a little late starting this but what the heck, I thought I'd give it a try. My husband and I have been trying to conceive since June 2008 so that makes it over 2.5 years. I always had a feeling that conceiving could be difficult just because it was something I wanted so much.
In June 2009, we went to see the doctor because it had been a year of trying with no results he decided to refer us to the fertility clinic. Our first appointment was September 2009 where we met with the doctor who reassured us that because I had regular cycles and was still young he was confident we would conceive eventually and sent us for a bunch of tests.
The results of the tests came back in November 2009 that my ovaries don't know how old I'm supposed to be. Apparantly the clock is definately ticking as I have the ovaries of a 40 year old! We also have mild-moderate male factor so those 2 issues combines explain why we're here. The doctor gave us 2 choices. Either IVF or IUI. IVF has a much higher success rate (50%) vs IUI (15%) the catch is that IUIs are WAY cheaper than IVF and less invasive. We decided then to proceed with IUI and signed the consent forms and went for training on administering injections.
First IUI was in Jan 2010. I responded nicely to the drugs but my body decided to ovulate a little prematurely but we still proceeded with the IUI as we had 7 follicles growing and hoped at least one would mature enough in the few days that passed. Miracle of miracles, we found out we were pregnant! I was crushed 2 weeks later to find out we miscarried.
Second IUI May 2010. Repeated same dose as January, but my body didn't respond quite as well and only ended up with one mature follicle and that round did not work. Crushed again :(
Third IUI June 2010. Hoping that third time is the charm, but nope, with an increased dosage and 2 nice follicles, nothing, nada happened.
Time to move on to IVF. July 2010 I call in my day 1 to the clinic and we started the Estrogen Priming Protocol. Everything progressed nicely and I ended up responding way better to the meds than the doctors ever thought I would. We were able to retrieve 15 eggs (instead of the 3-6 predicted), 12 fertilized. 9 were still kicking around 3 days later so we decided to wait until day 5. On day 5, August 30th, we transfered two early blasts of medium quality (so they were a little slow growing and of ok quality).
10 days later I took a test and low and behold there was a very faint line. I knew right then and there however that something was wrong, the line was too faint. Sure enough, bloodtests revealed that my beta HCG was about 1/3 of where it should have been at that point. We thought we were repeating what happened in January. However, my levels just kept going up and up. At 5.5 weeks I started getting pains on my right side and got really scared. The clinic brought me in that day for an emergency ultra sound which revealed nothing in my uterus and something "dangly" near my right ovary which was most likely the pregnancy but difficult to tell at that point. We thought at that point that my body was taking care of things on it's own since my beta started to finally stopped rising and then dropped.
4 days later had another blood test and my beta was rising again! Checked it 2 days later and still rising! What was going on?? Another ultra sound revealed that the mass beside my ovary was in fact growing and was a pregnancy sac in my tube. Crap it's ectopic for sure. We had 2 choices. Go for surgery right away or administer methotrexate (a cancer drug that attacks rapidly dividing cells). The metho has an 85% -90% success rate for someone in my position and was recommended by the doctor so we did that. Definately one of the worse days of my life. I felt like I was killing my baby :(
We had a few more bloodtests over the following week which revealed by beta had stopped rising but was barely dropping. Looks like I was not in that 85-90%. We had another dose of methotrexate given and the beta finally started to drop more. It took 5 more weeks for me to be out of the danger zone of my tube bursting and on Nov 17th my beta finally reached 0. My veins were definately thankfull after nearly 30 blood tests!
We are now embarking on our 2nd IVF. We are on the same protocol as last time so hopefully we get a similare amount of eggs but with better end results!
In June 2009, we went to see the doctor because it had been a year of trying with no results he decided to refer us to the fertility clinic. Our first appointment was September 2009 where we met with the doctor who reassured us that because I had regular cycles and was still young he was confident we would conceive eventually and sent us for a bunch of tests.
The results of the tests came back in November 2009 that my ovaries don't know how old I'm supposed to be. Apparantly the clock is definately ticking as I have the ovaries of a 40 year old! We also have mild-moderate male factor so those 2 issues combines explain why we're here. The doctor gave us 2 choices. Either IVF or IUI. IVF has a much higher success rate (50%) vs IUI (15%) the catch is that IUIs are WAY cheaper than IVF and less invasive. We decided then to proceed with IUI and signed the consent forms and went for training on administering injections.
First IUI was in Jan 2010. I responded nicely to the drugs but my body decided to ovulate a little prematurely but we still proceeded with the IUI as we had 7 follicles growing and hoped at least one would mature enough in the few days that passed. Miracle of miracles, we found out we were pregnant! I was crushed 2 weeks later to find out we miscarried.
Second IUI May 2010. Repeated same dose as January, but my body didn't respond quite as well and only ended up with one mature follicle and that round did not work. Crushed again :(
Third IUI June 2010. Hoping that third time is the charm, but nope, with an increased dosage and 2 nice follicles, nothing, nada happened.
Time to move on to IVF. July 2010 I call in my day 1 to the clinic and we started the Estrogen Priming Protocol. Everything progressed nicely and I ended up responding way better to the meds than the doctors ever thought I would. We were able to retrieve 15 eggs (instead of the 3-6 predicted), 12 fertilized. 9 were still kicking around 3 days later so we decided to wait until day 5. On day 5, August 30th, we transfered two early blasts of medium quality (so they were a little slow growing and of ok quality).
10 days later I took a test and low and behold there was a very faint line. I knew right then and there however that something was wrong, the line was too faint. Sure enough, bloodtests revealed that my beta HCG was about 1/3 of where it should have been at that point. We thought we were repeating what happened in January. However, my levels just kept going up and up. At 5.5 weeks I started getting pains on my right side and got really scared. The clinic brought me in that day for an emergency ultra sound which revealed nothing in my uterus and something "dangly" near my right ovary which was most likely the pregnancy but difficult to tell at that point. We thought at that point that my body was taking care of things on it's own since my beta started to finally stopped rising and then dropped.
4 days later had another blood test and my beta was rising again! Checked it 2 days later and still rising! What was going on?? Another ultra sound revealed that the mass beside my ovary was in fact growing and was a pregnancy sac in my tube. Crap it's ectopic for sure. We had 2 choices. Go for surgery right away or administer methotrexate (a cancer drug that attacks rapidly dividing cells). The metho has an 85% -90% success rate for someone in my position and was recommended by the doctor so we did that. Definately one of the worse days of my life. I felt like I was killing my baby :(
We had a few more bloodtests over the following week which revealed by beta had stopped rising but was barely dropping. Looks like I was not in that 85-90%. We had another dose of methotrexate given and the beta finally started to drop more. It took 5 more weeks for me to be out of the danger zone of my tube bursting and on Nov 17th my beta finally reached 0. My veins were definately thankfull after nearly 30 blood tests!
We are now embarking on our 2nd IVF. We are on the same protocol as last time so hopefully we get a similare amount of eggs but with better end results!
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