BFN

Well I tested yesterday morning and got a BFN (Big fat negative). 

I haven't let myself dwell on it too much yet which I know is probably not a good thing.  I have a horrible habit of just ignoring things and not dealing with them.  I just put it out of my mind and hope time makes it feel better.

I even had a very good friend staying at our place when I took the test and I know she would have been there for me but I just wasn't able to talk about it. I guess it's my defense mechanism to just not deal.

I think the non logical part of me is still holding out hope that it was just too early or something was wrong with the test.  Blood test is Wednesday and in the meantime I am keeping on my medications as directed and just trying to get through one day at a time.