Got the official word yesterday, blood test was negative. I knew that was coming based on the home pregnancy tests but hearing it officially from the nurse was a lot harder than I thought. I am thankful that if it wasn't going to work that at least it was negative from the start since I never want to go through what happened last time ever again but it's still hard.
I probably won't be posting much for the next little bit, but I promise to update after my follow-up with the doctor in 3 weeks.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
In shock
Wow, everything sure has been put into perspective today. We lost a very dear friend today who passed away suddenly without warning and leaves behind a brokenhearted wife and a 6.5 month old baby boy.
He will be terribly missed and my heart is broken for his wife and son. I feel so useless but thankful we were able to be there for her until her family arrived to be by her side..
Sunday, February 13, 2011
BFN
Well I tested yesterday morning and got a BFN (Big fat negative).
I haven't let myself dwell on it too much yet which I know is probably not a good thing. I have a horrible habit of just ignoring things and not dealing with them. I just put it out of my mind and hope time makes it feel better.
I even had a very good friend staying at our place when I took the test and I know she would have been there for me but I just wasn't able to talk about it. I guess it's my defense mechanism to just not deal.
I think the non logical part of me is still holding out hope that it was just too early or something was wrong with the test. Blood test is Wednesday and in the meantime I am keeping on my medications as directed and just trying to get through one day at a time.
I haven't let myself dwell on it too much yet which I know is probably not a good thing. I have a horrible habit of just ignoring things and not dealing with them. I just put it out of my mind and hope time makes it feel better.
I even had a very good friend staying at our place when I took the test and I know she would have been there for me but I just wasn't able to talk about it. I guess it's my defense mechanism to just not deal.
I think the non logical part of me is still holding out hope that it was just too early or something was wrong with the test. Blood test is Wednesday and in the meantime I am keeping on my medications as directed and just trying to get through one day at a time.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Sorry I've been bad about posting lately. I've pretty much been trying as much as possible to put this whole IVF thing out of my thoughts. It's the only way to stay sane really durring the 2ww. Just need to stay distracted.
Things are going ok, some days I am very optomistic other days not so much. I had some weight gain earlier this week (4 pounds in 3 days) and my weight is dropping back down again without any changes to activity levels or diet so I REALLY hope this is a good sign. I had something similar happen in my last pregnancy right around the same time. Basically with IVF, after the egg retrieval, the follicles fill up with fluid again which is what causes the weight gain, the HCG produced during pregnancy aggravates this which why it would be normal to gain weight after implantation time.
Getting closer and closer to testing time!
Things are going ok, some days I am very optomistic other days not so much. I had some weight gain earlier this week (4 pounds in 3 days) and my weight is dropping back down again without any changes to activity levels or diet so I REALLY hope this is a good sign. I had something similar happen in my last pregnancy right around the same time. Basically with IVF, after the egg retrieval, the follicles fill up with fluid again which is what causes the weight gain, the HCG produced during pregnancy aggravates this which why it would be normal to gain weight after implantation time.
Getting closer and closer to testing time!
Monday, February 7, 2011
Well I'm technically halfway through the two week wait. I'm honestly not feeling very optomistic. Don't get me wrong, I am still hoping like crazy that this works but I am definately unable to get excited about it. In my head I'm already planning on when the next try will be.
Physically I am feeling ok, except for the tiredness (side effect). We had guests over last night for superbowl and I ended up going to bed before they even left! I felt sooo bad, but with it being a workday today I knew from experience that I needed the sleep in order to function for the rest of the week. Man I am such a baby :P
Physically I am feeling ok, except for the tiredness (side effect). We had guests over last night for superbowl and I ended up going to bed before they even left! I felt sooo bad, but with it being a workday today I knew from experience that I needed the sleep in order to function for the rest of the week. Man I am such a baby :P
Friday, February 4, 2011
Ok, here the description of what happens with the embryo transfer. Hopefully this post will be shorter :P
Embryo transfer is done on a full bladder so it can get quite uncomfortable. Again, we were to show up to the clinic ahead of time. First thing that happens is they do bloodwork since they want to check that the progesterone is nice and high and that the estrogen has not dropped too much since egg retrieval (though they don't draw blood on retrieval day, I assume they use trigger day to compare ?)
Nurse then calls you into the recovery room and we get to gown up again just like for the egg retrieval. We then go back to those comfy lazyboys where vitals are checked again and ID arm bands are once again given (again they check these all the time, it's pretty important that the right embryos are transfered to the right people)
After that we are led to a room to talk to the doctor. The doctor goes over the status of the embryos at that point and discuss how many / which ones to put back (this time we only had one so no decision to make really but we got to see how many cells/ quality it was)
We then go back to recovery and wait a bit until they are ready for the procedure (meanwhile the bladder is filling up the whole time and is super uncomfortable. Since we show up at the clinic one hour ahead of time, all the water has to be drunk before then so lots of time to really fill up!
Finnally it's time to do the transfer. We go into the procedure room (same one as for the egg retrieval). Thankfully for the second transfer I got to wait to put my legs in the stirups until the doctor started scrubbing in. This table faces the door the doctor comes in. Last time I was in the stirups uncovered for a good 5 minutes while people were going in and out that door. Umm, hello, not everyone needs to see that show!
The doctor then gets everything ready, speculum goes in, washes out everything and then puts in a catheder through the cervix (no worse than a pap really).
The embryologist then takes the embryo out of the incubator and puts it under the microscope for us to see on a screen before they transfer it. The embryologist then puts the embryo into some tube thingy (the part that threads into the catheder)
Ultra sound tech does an external ultra sound so the doctor can guide the catheder to the right place in the uterus (top) and then the embryo is transfered. We see a flash of bubbles on the screen when this happens plus they take a pic of it for us to take home. The doctor then waits 30 seconds to give a chance for the embryo to float away from the catheder and everything is taken out and checked by the embryologist under a microscope to ensure the embryo is gone. (If it's still there, they repeat the process, apparantly that doesn't hurt the chances of success, glad it hasn't happened to me)
Once the ok is given from the embryologist the doc removes the speculum and we're done. On the way out of the room I finally get to pee and then we sit and rest for half an hour in recovery while waiting for the bloodtest results. If the progesterone is too low they switch you to progesterone shots (mine has been fine) and if the estrogen drops too much they put you on Estrace (which happened to me this time).
And that's it!
Embryo transfer is done on a full bladder so it can get quite uncomfortable. Again, we were to show up to the clinic ahead of time. First thing that happens is they do bloodwork since they want to check that the progesterone is nice and high and that the estrogen has not dropped too much since egg retrieval (though they don't draw blood on retrieval day, I assume they use trigger day to compare ?)
Nurse then calls you into the recovery room and we get to gown up again just like for the egg retrieval. We then go back to those comfy lazyboys where vitals are checked again and ID arm bands are once again given (again they check these all the time, it's pretty important that the right embryos are transfered to the right people)
After that we are led to a room to talk to the doctor. The doctor goes over the status of the embryos at that point and discuss how many / which ones to put back (this time we only had one so no decision to make really but we got to see how many cells/ quality it was)
We then go back to recovery and wait a bit until they are ready for the procedure (meanwhile the bladder is filling up the whole time and is super uncomfortable. Since we show up at the clinic one hour ahead of time, all the water has to be drunk before then so lots of time to really fill up!
Finnally it's time to do the transfer. We go into the procedure room (same one as for the egg retrieval). Thankfully for the second transfer I got to wait to put my legs in the stirups until the doctor started scrubbing in. This table faces the door the doctor comes in. Last time I was in the stirups uncovered for a good 5 minutes while people were going in and out that door. Umm, hello, not everyone needs to see that show!
The doctor then gets everything ready, speculum goes in, washes out everything and then puts in a catheder through the cervix (no worse than a pap really).
The embryologist then takes the embryo out of the incubator and puts it under the microscope for us to see on a screen before they transfer it. The embryologist then puts the embryo into some tube thingy (the part that threads into the catheder)
Ultra sound tech does an external ultra sound so the doctor can guide the catheder to the right place in the uterus (top) and then the embryo is transfered. We see a flash of bubbles on the screen when this happens plus they take a pic of it for us to take home. The doctor then waits 30 seconds to give a chance for the embryo to float away from the catheder and everything is taken out and checked by the embryologist under a microscope to ensure the embryo is gone. (If it's still there, they repeat the process, apparantly that doesn't hurt the chances of success, glad it hasn't happened to me)
Once the ok is given from the embryologist the doc removes the speculum and we're done. On the way out of the room I finally get to pee and then we sit and rest for half an hour in recovery while waiting for the bloodtest results. If the progesterone is too low they switch you to progesterone shots (mine has been fine) and if the estrogen drops too much they put you on Estrace (which happened to me this time).
And that's it!
Egg Retrieval and Embryo Transfer
I have had a few questions about how exactly does the egg retrieval and embryo transfer work. Here's how it went for me, it was very similar for both IVFs
Egg retrieval:
The night beforeegg retrieval day, I was to have nothing to eat or drink after midnight.
I arrive at the clinic one hour before retrieval time, a nurse calls me in and we head to the recovery room.
The nurse then hands me a gown to change into (well 2 actually one forwards and one backwards so that at least you are covered) along with booties to go over the feet and a bonnet to cover the head. My husband changes into scrubs, booties, bonnet and given a face mask.
After getting changed, we go to our curtained area where I get a nice comfy lazyboy type chair to sit in and my poor husband gets a nice stiff wooden chair. The nurse then gets us to double check the file she is holding to make sure that it's ours. We are then given ID bracelets which gets double checked every time someone comes to see us.
Hubby then gets sent off to "do his business" and produce a sample. (No pressure, ;P). While he is gone, the nurse checks my vitals (temperature, blood pressure, pulse ox). After then she gives me a shot of Versed in the bum to help me to relax. I personally don't feel much of a difference with that stuff but whatever. Next the nurse has the pleasant task of trying to find a vein to put in an IV.
Once the IV is in, they give a bag of saline to rehydrate plus another bag that has antibiotics I think.
Usually around this time, hubby comes back. Doctor then comes in and walks us through what will happen and answers any questions we might have.
Then it's time to start, on our way to the procedure room, I stop by the washroom to empty my bladder (needs to be empty for them to see properly)
I then go into the procedure room and lay down on the gurney, prop up the legs in the stirrups. The nice meds are administered pretty much right away. This time I was given Fentanyl and Ketomine. Fentanyl makes you feel almost drunk ish and Ketomine, well that stuff makes you really out of it, if only it would have lasted longer before wearing off just as the procedure was starting!
The embryologist, nurses, and doctors (both time I had 2, it's a teaching place so fellows often take part) all come by and introduce themselves. Blood pressure and pulse ox are monitored throughout the whole thing
This next part I am a little fuzzy on, I am usually a little out of it with the drugs or in so much pain I try to shut it out.
Doc comes in, puts speculum in and washes everything out. Ultrasound probe then goes in and egg retrieval needle thingy is attached. They go through the vaginal wall with the needle to get to the ovary and then go in every follicle to drain it. Not sure what kind of container the fluid goes into but after every follicle someone is going back and forth handing it to the embryologist how counts out every time they get an egg. From the time they get the follicle to when the first egg is confirmed is about a minute? The whole thing doesn't take that long, seems long to me but probably 5 minutes max of the actual aspirating part?
When all is done, I get to sit up and get a ride back to recovery in a wheelchair. Usually in about 5 minutes we then get our final count of how many eggs were retrieved.
In recovery, blood pressure and pulse ox are still on and constantly measured, saline is given through IV the whole time. We are in recovery usually for about an hour where I get to drink juice and eat cookies. You also have to go pee before you leave or they won't let you go home. Oh and they have a warmer for sheets which are awesome, they constantly give you nice warm ones plus a folded warm one to put over the belly which helps with the cramping / pain.
If everything is normal then you get to go home at the end of the hour :)
Well this was pretty long winded, sorry about that. I'll come back later to describe the embryo transfer.
Egg retrieval:
The night beforeegg retrieval day, I was to have nothing to eat or drink after midnight.
I arrive at the clinic one hour before retrieval time, a nurse calls me in and we head to the recovery room.
The nurse then hands me a gown to change into (well 2 actually one forwards and one backwards so that at least you are covered) along with booties to go over the feet and a bonnet to cover the head. My husband changes into scrubs, booties, bonnet and given a face mask.
After getting changed, we go to our curtained area where I get a nice comfy lazyboy type chair to sit in and my poor husband gets a nice stiff wooden chair. The nurse then gets us to double check the file she is holding to make sure that it's ours. We are then given ID bracelets which gets double checked every time someone comes to see us.
Hubby then gets sent off to "do his business" and produce a sample. (No pressure, ;P). While he is gone, the nurse checks my vitals (temperature, blood pressure, pulse ox). After then she gives me a shot of Versed in the bum to help me to relax. I personally don't feel much of a difference with that stuff but whatever. Next the nurse has the pleasant task of trying to find a vein to put in an IV.
Once the IV is in, they give a bag of saline to rehydrate plus another bag that has antibiotics I think.
Usually around this time, hubby comes back. Doctor then comes in and walks us through what will happen and answers any questions we might have.
Then it's time to start, on our way to the procedure room, I stop by the washroom to empty my bladder (needs to be empty for them to see properly)
I then go into the procedure room and lay down on the gurney, prop up the legs in the stirrups. The nice meds are administered pretty much right away. This time I was given Fentanyl and Ketomine. Fentanyl makes you feel almost drunk ish and Ketomine, well that stuff makes you really out of it, if only it would have lasted longer before wearing off just as the procedure was starting!
The embryologist, nurses, and doctors (both time I had 2, it's a teaching place so fellows often take part) all come by and introduce themselves. Blood pressure and pulse ox are monitored throughout the whole thing
This next part I am a little fuzzy on, I am usually a little out of it with the drugs or in so much pain I try to shut it out.
Doc comes in, puts speculum in and washes everything out. Ultrasound probe then goes in and egg retrieval needle thingy is attached. They go through the vaginal wall with the needle to get to the ovary and then go in every follicle to drain it. Not sure what kind of container the fluid goes into but after every follicle someone is going back and forth handing it to the embryologist how counts out every time they get an egg. From the time they get the follicle to when the first egg is confirmed is about a minute? The whole thing doesn't take that long, seems long to me but probably 5 minutes max of the actual aspirating part?
When all is done, I get to sit up and get a ride back to recovery in a wheelchair. Usually in about 5 minutes we then get our final count of how many eggs were retrieved.
In recovery, blood pressure and pulse ox are still on and constantly measured, saline is given through IV the whole time. We are in recovery usually for about an hour where I get to drink juice and eat cookies. You also have to go pee before you leave or they won't let you go home. Oh and they have a warmer for sheets which are awesome, they constantly give you nice warm ones plus a folded warm one to put over the belly which helps with the cramping / pain.
If everything is normal then you get to go home at the end of the hour :)
Well this was pretty long winded, sorry about that. I'll come back later to describe the embryo transfer.
The dreaded 2ww
Oh the dreaded 2ww (two week wait). How I loathe thee
My brain is now going a mile a minute with so many questions. I guess it's only human to wonder why? what if? I hate having so little control and no answers.
Here's a few of my random questions:
Is the chance of an ectopic higher with a day 3 transfer vs a day 5? The embryo has more time to float around with a day 3 transfer so logically I would think maybe?
What are the odds our one remaining embryo is even genetically normal ? If every single other one from the batch was not, why would this one be?
The biggest question though is what changed? Why was this cycle so different than our last IVF? Was it the methotrexate from the fall that caused more of a strain on my ovaries than the average person? Was it the fact that our trigger shot was a higher dose (they lowered the dosage last time to half because my estrogen was higher, this time I had the normal one). We'll probably never know.
My brain is now going a mile a minute with so many questions. I guess it's only human to wonder why? what if? I hate having so little control and no answers.
Here's a few of my random questions:
Is the chance of an ectopic higher with a day 3 transfer vs a day 5? The embryo has more time to float around with a day 3 transfer so logically I would think maybe?
What are the odds our one remaining embryo is even genetically normal ? If every single other one from the batch was not, why would this one be?
The biggest question though is what changed? Why was this cycle so different than our last IVF? Was it the methotrexate from the fall that caused more of a strain on my ovaries than the average person? Was it the fact that our trigger shot was a higher dose (they lowered the dosage last time to half because my estrogen was higher, this time I had the normal one). We'll probably never know.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
PUPO
Well I'm officially PUPO (Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise). We were able to transfer one 7 cell average quality embryo this morning. The other embryo was up to 8 cells but was abnormal (had more than one nucleus) so it was discarded. Our odds of success went from 50-60% to 30% but I'll take it.
I asked the doctor on call how common our situation is and she told us they do see this happen in those who need high doses of stimulation drugs (I took almost the max). They don't really know why but it's a sign there is definately something wrong with my ovaries but it's nothing they can fix and is a genetic thing. Yay, I love having one of those diagnoses they don't know much about.
We were also given another hormone to add to the mix. My estrogen level dropped too much sine the egg retrieval so we are adding Estrace. I now take progesterone 3 times a day and estrace twice daily. At least they are not in needle format!
Now we just wait and hope our little embryo snuggles in and keeps growing (in the right spot of course!)
I asked the doctor on call how common our situation is and she told us they do see this happen in those who need high doses of stimulation drugs (I took almost the max). They don't really know why but it's a sign there is definately something wrong with my ovaries but it's nothing they can fix and is a genetic thing. Yay, I love having one of those diagnoses they don't know much about.
We were also given another hormone to add to the mix. My estrogen level dropped too much sine the egg retrieval so we are adding Estrace. I now take progesterone 3 times a day and estrace twice daily. At least they are not in needle format!
Now we just wait and hope our little embryo snuggles in and keeps growing (in the right spot of course!)
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